21st Century Nursery Rhymes 13

The nursery rhyme parodies are hotting up, literally and metaphorically, as we race towards the climax. The 'See a pin...' series have a gloriously nihilistic quality.

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 136

Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat
I can’t wait till Christmas to eat some of that
Coz I’m on the Atkins diet and that’s a fact
I just hope that I don’t have a heart attack

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 137

Jack and Jill went up the hill
With there supply of bottled water
What is it with these bloody ramblers?

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 138

Sing a song of Sixth Sense
Haley Joel Osment wonders why
He’s followed every where
By that Bruce Willis guy

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 139

Polly put the kettle on,
Polly put the kettle on,
Polly put the kettle on,
We'll all have tea.
Sukey take it off again,
Sukey take it off again,
Sukey take it off again,
Stop pissing about Sukey

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 140

Ring-a-Ring o'Rosies
Oh I hate runny noses
A tissue! A tissue!
No don’t wipe it on your sleeve!

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 141

Curly Locks! Curly locks! Wilt thou be mine?
You’ll have to wash the dishes coz I’m a lazy swine
But I’ll lay you on a cushion and hold you in esteem
And I’ll make love too you until I make you scream

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 142

One misty, moisty, morning,
When rainy was the weather,
There I met a young man
All clothed in leather

All clothed in leather,
Fitted as tight as his skin
How do you wear it?
How do you move in it?
And what is that squeaking?

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 143

Robin Hood, Robin Hood,
Living in the green wood
With his merry band
And their stolen contraband

They feast and they dine
On stolen food and wine
Then the laughing starts
When Little John farts

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 144

Robin Hood, Robin Hood,
Living in the green wood
With his merry band
And their stolen contraband

Maid Marion comes no more
To the camp of the out laws
Since she saw the merry band
Skipping around holding hands

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 145

See a pin, pick it up,
And all day long you'll have good luck.

See a pin, pick it up,
And all day long you'll have a pin

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 146

See a pin, pick it up
Then you're sure to have good luck,

See a pin, prick yourself
And end up with hepatitis

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 147

See a pin, pick it up,
And all day long you'll have good luck.

See a pin let it lay,
And you won’t be lumbered with a pin all day

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