21st Century Nursery Rhymes 14

The nursery rhyme parodies take a diversion along some obscure highways and bye ways, of which the most esoteric is perhaps the wise men of Gotham, a Nottinghamshire village whose residents were famed for evading taxes by feigning madness.

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 148

Elsie Marley's grown so fine,
She won't get up to feed the swine,
But lies in bed 'till eight or nine!
Doing the farm hands two at a time

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 149

Baby dear, good night, good night,
Doggie lies in slumbers deep;
Hush-a-bye, my treasure bright,
Pussy, too, is fast asleep.
So the question I must make
Is why are you still wide awake?

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 150

As I was going up Pippen Hill,
Pippen Hill was dirty.
There I met a pretty miss
And she was very flirty

As I was going down Pippen Hill,
I left the girl so flirty
Pippen Hill was quite clean
But the girl was very dirty

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 151

Cry Baby Bunting
Daddy's gone a-hunting
Well that’s not really true
He’s gone to Tesco’s with my sister Su

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 152

Little Bo-peep has lost her sheep
And doesn’t know where to find them
Silly cow

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 153

Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey..
Along came a spider,
And sat down beside her,
And said, "is that stuff pro-biotic?

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 154

I love sixpence, jolly, jolly, sixpence,
I love sixpence as my life.
Well I don’t actually because it’s only worth 2 ½ p
And what can you buy with that?

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 155

Pat a cake, Pat a cake, Bakers man
Bake me a cake as fast as you can; 
Full of E numbers and artificial flavouring
Then microwave it until the oven pings

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 156

Tom, Tom of Islington,
Married a wife on Sunday,
And that’s all I will tell
Because to be honest it doesn’t end well

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 157

Three wise men of Gotham
Went to sea in a bowl:
Their wisdom was a misconception
They died and that’s natural selection

21st Century Nursery Rhymes  # 158

There was a little man
Who wooed a little honey;
and she was wooed and wooed and wooed
But not as wude as he

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