The nursery rhyme parodies take a diversion along some obscure highways and bye ways, of which the most esoteric is perhaps the wise men of Gotham, a Nottinghamshire village whose residents were famed for evading taxes by feigning madness.
Elsie Marley's grown so fine,
She won't get up to feed the swine,
But lies in bed 'till eight or nine!
Doing the farm hands two at a time
Baby dear, good night, good night,
Doggie lies in slumbers deep;
Hush-a-bye, my treasure bright,
Pussy, too, is fast asleep.
So the question I must make
Is why are you still wide awake?
As I was going up Pippen Hill,
Pippen Hill was dirty.
There I met a pretty miss
And she was very flirty
As I was going down Pippen Hill,
I left the girl so flirty
Pippen Hill was quite clean
But the girl was very dirty
Cry Baby Bunting
Daddy's gone a-hunting
Well that’s not really true
He’s gone to Tesco’s with my sister Su
Little Bo-peep has lost her sheep
And doesn’t know where to find them
Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey..
Along came a spider,
And sat down beside her,
And said, "is that stuff pro-biotic?
I love sixpence, jolly, jolly, sixpence,
I love sixpence as my life.
Well I don’t actually because it’s only worth 2 ½ p
And what can you buy with that?
Pat a cake, Pat a cake, Bakers man
Bake me a cake as fast as you can;
Full of E numbers and artificial flavouring
Then microwave it until the oven pings
Tom, Tom of Islington,
Married a wife on Sunday,
And that’s all I will tell
Because to be honest it doesn’t end well
Three wise men of Gotham
Went to sea in a bowl:
Their wisdom was a misconception
They died and that’s natural selection
There was a little man
Who wooed a little honey;
and she was wooed and wooed and wooed
But not as wude as he
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