Funny Halloween Poems

A collection of funny poems for Halloween by contemporary English poets Patrick Winstanley, Paul Curtis and Max Scratchmann. The English bit is hugely important, as the English don't generally understand or approve of Halloween, so there's a preponderance of poems disparaging the awful, American 'Trick or Treat'.

I Don't Believe In Spooks And Demons

I don't believe in spooks and demons
I think that should be understood
But there are always more trick-or-treaters
Than there are kids in the neighborhood

Are You Wearing A Frankenstein Outfit?

Are you wearing a Frankenstein outfit?
Well Frankenstein's creation I'd guess
Oh you're not wearing a mask at all
And that's all just anaphylaxis

If Vampires Can't See Their Own Reflection

If vampires can't see
Their own reflection
In a mirror or anything else
That's shiny

Then the thing I
Have always wondered is
How do they manage
To keep their hair tidy?

Are You Wearing A Halloween Waistcoat?

Are you wearing a Halloween waistcoat?
Oh I like the way the buttons glow
And the whole thing luminesces
It really is very Edgar Allan Poe

I Think My Chickens Are Possessed

I think my chickens are possessed
My wife is very much distressed
Their feathers are all dishevelled
And the eggs they lay are devilled