Funny Mothers Day Poems

A small collection of funny poems for Mothers Day by Paul Curtis, an English poet, essayist and author. In some cases funny might be putting it a bit strong, but the selection includes humorous poems about mothers, motherhood and other things maternal which are coherent in subject matter, but far removed from most Mothers Day poems.

Mother's Day

Don’t forget mum on Mother’s Day
A bottle of something I think
And just remember that it is you
That drives her to drink


A woman knows all about her children
She knows their likes and dislikes,
Who their friends are and who they fancy
Their illnesses, ailments and allergies

She knows the dates of all their matches
Drop off and pick up, home and away
She knows about appointments for hospital
As well as doctor, optical and dental

She know about their favourite foods
And the things that make them sick
She know what scares them and why
And what makes them laugh and cry

She knows all about their hopes and dreams
And what they may look for in a spouse
While a man on the other hand, is vaguely aware
Of some short people living in the house

Menopause For Thought

There is a natural order in life
There are rules to be understood
For example bearing children
There is a time limit on motherhood
The term “child bearing years”
Was coined for a very simple reason
So that everything in life
Can have its time and season
A Woman over fifty is ill equipped
To show a baby proper care
As she would put the baby down
And then forget where

When Children Leave The Family Home

When children leave the family home
No matter where the children roam
Despite the passing of the years
Its mum they want to wipe away the tears
When the world slaps them in the face
They head straight to that one special place
Where the door is always open wide
Where they know they can safely abide
Safely ensconced in that special place
That is a mother’s warm embrace

If you haven't found just the Mothers Day poem you were looking for, their is a selection of family-friendly and rather more conventional funny Mothers Day poems on our junior version of the site, Funny Poems for Kids.