Short Poems - Is Santa Claus Really A Woman?

Eight short funny Christmas poems by Paul Curtis which share the opening line Is Santa Really a Woman? Those familiar with Paul's work may think this sounds like an unparalled opportunity for misogeny. In reality the poems are remarkably balanced, with both sexes getting a good bashing!

Is Santa Claus Really A Woman # 1

Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Oh do me a favour please
It’s obviously a man
Why is it so hard to believe?
That’s why everything happens
Late on Christmas Eve

Is Santa Claus Really A Woman # 2

Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Why has this not come up before?
If it were left to a man, everything
Would come from the corner store

Is Santa Claus Really A Woman # 3

Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Let’s silence those objections
How would he navigate the globe
And all its many intersections
When a man is totally incapable
Of ever asking for directions

Is Santa Claus Really A Woman # 4

Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Why are we having this debate?
If Santa was a woman
How would she navigate?
My wife got lost last week
In a car park in Ramsgate

Is Santa Claus Really A Woman # 5

Is Santa Claus really a woman?
How ridiculous, no way
They can’t parallel park a car
How would they cope with a sleigh?

Is Santa Claus Really A Woman # 6

Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Well would that be so shocking
I mean if it were left to a man
And I don’t mean to be mocking
But are really more interested
In a very different stocking

Is Santa Claus Really A Woman # 7

Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Well surely its self evident
It takes a great deal of effort
To achieve the necessary merriment
And no man is capable
Of that level of commitment

Is Santa Claus Really A Woman # 8

Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Well there’s no evidence yet
But ask yourself if a man
Would choose to wear red velvet