Senior Moments Captured in Verse

A second collection of funny poems about old age, which have a titular commonality, although the absence of a poem entitled Senior Service seems a sin of omission. Paul does, however, introduces the subject of sex amongst the over seventies, which may lead some readers to scurry for the off button.

Senior Forecast

Since I’ve been retired
I’ve noticed that my hips
Are more accurate forecasters
Than those met office twits

Senior Lift

I’m now officially old
And the tell tale indicator
Is that I just heard
My favourite song in the elevator

Senior Column

I wake up in the morning
But don’t get out of bed
Until I’ve read the obit’s
And made sure that I’m not dead

Senior Divan

I’m now officially old
And the tell tale indicator
Is that having sex in a single bed
Isn’t an option any longer

Senior Joints

If after the age of sixty years
I think this is safely said
You don't wake up aching in every joint
You are almost certainly dead

Senior Contraception

Jimmy was in his seventies
And took himself a young wife
His biggest concern was fatherhood
At his time of life

“What birth control would you suggest?
Which would be best for me?”
He asked his doctor, who replied
“I think in your case, nudity”