Funny Poems About Health

A selection of funny poetry taking a humorous look at health, ill health and the general decrepitude of old age, which includes a feast of funny poems about doctors, dentists, diets and various exotic diseases and disorders.

The Dentist's Chair

A short poem about a visit to the dentist which is funny and painful in equal measure.

Why Why Why?

The subject of the poem is afflicted by a thankfully rare syndrome which induces some very unusual behaviour. Or perhaps it's not unusual.

Berry Berry

Speak to any doctor who has worked in casualty and they will delight you with tales of the unlikely objects which 'accidentally' get stuck up a patient's bottom - light bulbs, small furry creatures, vegetable marrows and, on occasion, umbrellas (up, but not usually 'up', you may be relieved to hear). A strange introduction to a very strange poem.

Another Senior Moment

A visit to the optician goes oddly awry.


A comic poem which undermines one's belief in the restorative properties of a sojourn at the seaside.

Is It Urgent?

There must, I think, be a special training school for doctors' receptionists where they instill that unique blend of surly indifference with a hint of underlying belligerence.

Doctor Lardy

A short fat poem, or put another way, a short poem about the sensitive subject of obesity.

Nip and Tuck

Plastic surgery offers the dream of a completely new you, but what of the reality?

No Fair

A whimsical verse about the effects of the aging process.

Carry On Nurse

A humorous poem about a nurse who fails to match the stereotype of nurses as nymphomaniacs.

Do’s And Don’ts

A detailed and faintly disturbing set of instructions for the action required if you find a woman collapsed upon the floor.

Gee Pee

The title should hint that this is a funny poems about a man who suffers mishaps in the micturition department. For those who are not walking medical dictionaries, that means problems peeing.