Funny English Poems

The selection of funny english poetry contains humorous poems in which the setting, characters of comic element is peculiarly English in nature. Readers residing in foreign climes may need to reach for the explanatory notes.

Brits Abroad

The British have a reputation for terrible behaviour when holidaying abroad, but rest assured that they can behave equally badly when on home turf. However, it's not just teenage tearaways who are to blame...

What a Guy

Bonfire Night is a celebration of Guy Fawkes' failed attempt to blow up the Houses on Parliament on the fifth of November hmmm. Anyway, it all happened ages and ages ago, yet it is an ideal excuse to have a bonfire, fireworks and lots of inedible barbequed food each year on the anniversary.

Farewell Charles

A valedictory message to Charles Kennedy, who was a surprisingly likable and funny politician, but found himself in the untenable position of leading the third political party, the name of which nobody, including its most ardent supports, can ever remember.


A short funny poem which requires no explanation. Unless, perhaps, you live an extremely sheltered existence and don't know what an airline is - it's something for blowing up the tyres on a car.

Bowes Park 1920

Put on your rose tinted spectacles, button up your cardigan and enjoy a nostalgic poem about telecommunications in those golden days before mobile phones and fibre-optic cabling.

Paradoxically English

English is considered a difficult language for foreigners to learn, but it can prove equally perplexing for those who have English as their mother tongue.

The London Eye

An beguiling poem about the London Eye, which has provided so many people - locals and tourists alike - with an alternative view of the capital.

Wiggly Worms And Curly Whirly’s

Childhood if bedevilled with traumas - major ones involve falling off bicycles or drinking weed killer and being rushed to casualty, minor ones having to scrub up clean, dress up in you smartest clothes and....


A Community Support Officer (CSO) is supposed to support the work of the police and have a deterrent effect, but has few real powers. If you are apprehended by a CSO, the best they do is hold your hand and kindly ask you stay still for 10 minutes, in the hope that a real policeman will arrive.

Afford A Beamer

A humorous poem which takes an oblique look at cars as both fashion accessories and status symbols. If you are a young executive dreaming of the day you receive the keys to a company BMW you may, however, find this a deeply disturbing poem.

Bowled a BMW

A companion piece to Afford a Beamer which will hammer the final nail firmly into the coffin of any BWM drivers.

Catering for Everyone

A witty little poem speculating about the choice of menu at the funeral directors' annual dinner dance.

Out on the Town

Saturday night 'out on the town' is brought to life in this amusing rhyming verse which introduces us to the high life and low life of a typical English city.

From A Different Perspective

English is a peculiar language, but its complexities multiply when you consider that the same word might have a completely different meaning for a man and a woman. And I forgot to mention, this poem is a BOGOF.

People Watching

A poem which captures to quintessence of people watching, a popular pastime worldwide, but one which the English have elevated to an art form.