2008 Vintage Funny Halloween Poems

There were a couple of new Paul Curtis' funny Halloween poems to enjoy in 2008 and, as one might expect, the poems took the English view of Halloween and the shenanigans that surround it. I'm sometimes asked why Peculiar Poetry don't have more Halloween Poems, or Bar Mitzvah Poems, or such like. In the case of Halloween, there is limit as to the number of funny poems one can write about what is, after all, a fairly narrow subject. We were averaging 2.5 new halloween poems a year, which seems quite reasonable…

The Night of the Living Dead

On all hallows eve when the sun has set
The ghosts and ghouls come out to play
With dripping fangs and bloody claws
They prowl the street in search of prey
And when to my door the fiends appear
I tell the “Trick or Treaters” to go away

Perhaps when I say that Paul has an English view of Halloween, what I really mean is misanthropy in the mould of Victor Meldrew.

Trick or Treat

When the little boys and girls
Knock at my door for candy
I must give them what they want
“Or else” is their modus operandi
So with a false smile I comply
But under my breath I pray
That by the time Christmas comes
They’ll all have tooth decay

To conclude, Patrick's first, and very likely last, attempt at a funny Halloween poem.

Flash Gordon

It's Halloween
I take to the street
Long black cape
Down to my feet

I knock on doors
Shouting 'Trick or Treat'
Throw back my cape
To reveal my meat

...and two veg

After Halloween I'll revert
To being a normal pervert