Humorous Halloween Poems from 2010

Another year, another clutch of funny Halloween poems, including our very first dirty Halloween poem. If you think Halloween is all about blood sucking, think again. And yes, I've included Max's poem Monsters' Ball in both funny and scary Halloween poetry collections as it's a faux-frightening Halloween poem.

Dressing Down for Halloween

At Halloween
Does the goth teen
Wear a paisley shirt
Or a floral skirt
So as not to conform
To the accepted norm?

23, Those Little Darlings

Those little darlings
With their angelic eyes
Look harmless enough
But beneath their disguise

They’re nothing but thugs
With pure evil intent
These spawn of Satan
Are not heaven sent

These foul blackguards
Going about their sport
They say “Trick or treat”
As they happily extort

They squirt fake blood
On my front door
They egg my new car
I can’t take any more

I sit counting the minutes
Am I the only one?
Who just can’t wait
Till Halloween is done

Monsters' Ball

Get your tickets for the monsters ball,
Come in your hundreds, come one, come all,
Join the Frankenstein Monster and the Man in the Moon,
And that awful creature from the Black Lagoon.

There’s Dracula’s daughter with her bloated tummy,
The son of Kong, and, of course, his mummy,
The Invisible Man and the Deadly Creature,
And Robbie the Robot in his own B-feature

The curséd Werewolf and the angry Godzilla,
But not the Phantom, he’s retired to a villa,
With Doctor Cyclops and the Shrinking Man,
Who’re sleeping rough in a caravan.

So buy your ticket and book your place,
Don’t wash your body or shave your face,
When the world stands still and world’s collide,
Come to the party with Frankenstein’s bride.

You’re Never Too Old for Halloween

It was a really spooky night
And I saw a very scary sight
We had been out “trick or treating”
And got home and started freaking
My parents were dressed as witches
Both were without their breeches
And my mum, not a natural blonde
Was playing with my father's wand