There's Nowt So Queer As Folk

A funny poem about the perplexing problem of choosing a name for an as yet unborn baby girl. Choosing baby names is a nightmare, but the parents in Paul's poem take the game to new levels.

Category

Poems of Life and Death

Sub-category

Funny Poems about Health

Author

If It’s A Girl

My water’s have gone
The happy event is near
And as for the name
I’m still not clear
Is it a boy or a girl?
I don’t know that even
But if it is a girl
What to name her then
Certainly nothing old
Not Gladys or Violet
Mum wants Mary or Eve
Or named for Aunty Margaret
And nothing contemporary
Not Sharon or Tracy
Nor Danni or Kylie
And not Karen or Stacy
Nothing stolen from Disney
Like Thumper or Bambi
Not Tramp or Lady
Or Mickey or Minnie
And nothing silly
Like Fawn or Fern
Nothing misspelled
Like Cyndy or Dorne
Something original
To make a statement
To make heads turn
Something different
So for a girl how about
Distemper or Chlamydia
Ozone, Prozac or Henna
Euthanasia or Lobelia
So many to choose from
How to pick one over another?
But I think as I am a model
Its Anorexia or Bulimia

Copyright © Paul Curtis. All Rights Reserved

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