A poem about the American populist artist Norman Rockwell. Further comment might compound the poem's already considerable capacity to offend.


Funny Poems about Life and Death


Funny poems about fame


Norman Rockwell at the Guggenheim

Painter, painter on the wall,
Who's the fairest one of all?
Jackson Pollock, Ed Degas,
Leonardo?  Up yer ass!
For, despite their New York chic,
Redneck, artsie, thug or geek,
And foreigners from Stoke or Stockwell,
Give thumbs up to Norman Rockwell.

Critics flick their flaccid wrists,
Too much schmaltz, love, too much grits,
Give us Damien's half a cow,
Norman Rockwell is not now,
Cast him out for painting kitsch,
Sell for millions, what a bitch,
All those moms and pops and kids,
Happy niggers, smiling yids,
The adoring public he does ream,
That purveyor of the American Dream.

Copyright © Max Scratchmann. All Rights Reserved

first previous index next last