A Sea of Beige

Would you buy a work of art for its aesthetic qualities, or because it matches your curtains? Your answer may determine whether you're Max's type of reader, or Max is your type of poet.


Poems of love and hate


Grumpy old man poems


Related poems

Is This Art?

Art Buyers

We are the lords of the Land of Magnolia,
We like  pastels and blandness, you got colour, we’ll phone ya,
We buy art for our living rooms in East Basingstoke,
But nothing that clashes with our vodka and coke.

So plenty of mixes of coffee and cream,
Completely white canvas is our ultimate dream,
Or blotchy abstraction, we love that, by jingo,
Or a cream-coloured screen-print of John, Paul and Ringo.

Oh, we patronise artists in numerous ways,
And they have to put up with it because of we pays,
We’re the death knell to beauty, the killers of art,
But we’re really the nicest of scumbags at heart.

Copyright © Max Scratchmann. All Rights Reserved

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