We are the lords of the Land of Magnolia,
We like pastels and blandness, you got colour, we’ll phone ya,
We buy art for our living rooms in East Basingstoke,
But nothing that clashes with our vodka and coke.
So plenty of mixes of coffee and cream,
Completely white canvas is our ultimate dream,
Or blotchy abstraction, we love that, by jingo,
Or a cream-coloured screen-print of John, Paul and Ringo.
Oh, we patronise artists in numerous ways,
And they have to put up with it because of we pays,
We’re the death knell to beauty, the killers of art,
But we’re really the nicest of scumbags at heart.
Copyright © Max Scratchmann. All Rights Reserved