Always Remember!!!

Always clean all the food up off of your plate
Don't let your clock go slow or you will be late
Never tell your children French letters are no good
AND REMEMBER — Never tell anyone a joke you
Don't understand 'cause the punchline could be rude

Always tell your mum you've put clean undies on
Don't talk about anyone until you’re sure they’ve gone
Never sell a friend a car that will not work
AND REMEMBER — Never show the film "Midnight
Express" to anyone who just happens to be a Turk

Always get up in the morning and go out for a run
Don't ever use bad language in the company of a nun
Never offer anyone the use of a dirty hankerchief
AND REMEMBER — If you ever meet anyone with mad
Cow disease don't ever offer them any beef

Always put the cap back on the toothpaste tube
Don't ever in the company of women call their tit a boob
Never tell your father-in-law his daughters no good in bed
AND REMEMBER — If you hate eating the meat of living
Animals make sure that the buggers are dead

Always take your mutt out if he's standing with crossed legs
Don't ever finish a bottle of wine always leave some dregs
Never tell a horse NO! always tell it NEIGH!
AND REMEMBER — A dog is not just for Christmas
You can have it in sandwiches on Boxing Day!!!!!