Oh give the Vulcan salute, boy, split your fingers wide,
Four and twenty crewmen, are standing by your side,
There’s Captain Kirk and Mr Spok, and good old Doctor McCoy,
So set your phaser on stun, lad, and shout out Ship Ahoy!
We need dilithium crystals, and the Romulans will not sell,
And the Captain’s playing strip poker, with Yeoman Jennifer Bell,
Poor Scotty is pulling his hair out, he cannae get engine parts,
And he’s currently driving the Enterprise, on cold baked beans and farts.
So ask Sulu for warp drive, and Uhura for hailing air,
And fasten your seatbelt for Hollywood, the guys are taking you there,
There’s a thousand Klingons standing, they’re planning an intervention,
But fly right past them at warp speed, we’re headed for a Star Trek convention.
Copyright © Max Scratchmann. All Rights Reserved