Old Oliver Goldsmith, was a very fine fellow,
He wore a tie of greenest grass, his suit was tweed and yellow,
He smoked a pipe and washed his feet and wore three raspberry buttons,
And pressed his good white underpants and hung them up as curtains.
One day he wrote a rhyming play, the text was all in couplets,
And wished he was born centuries on so he could cast the Muppets,
It starred a bold and randy squire whose emblem was a conker,
But his agent loathed his title of, Me Lud, He Stoops to Bonk Her.
At length it ran in Drury Lane, the critics said it stank,
So Goldsmith bought the London Times to reassert his rank,
And today he is remembered, by scholars round the globe,
As the man who bought the Bible and starred in the Book of Job.
Copyright © Max Scratchmann. All Rights Reserved