The Scottish Play

A crowd was in the theatre and the gods were full as well,
And the foyer it was buzzing when they rang the curtain bell,
And I sat there in my dressing room with a face as pale as death,
It was a very scary night, the night I played Macbeth.

The witches they were laughing loud, the heath was duly blasted,
The leading girl was very thin, they said, in fact, they fasted,
So I polished up my dagger and strode upon the stage,
But the audience threw their ticket stubs and yelled at me in rage.

Get off the stage, you tubby loon, we don't want you to stay,
But all the actors shrugged and said, it's just the Scottish Play,
Who cares if they throw turnips, we do not care a jot,
But the audience rose up to a man and said, out, out, damn spot!

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