The poet proposes a series of wholly unrealistic New Year resolutions. It's not that they'd be unachievable for ordinary folk, but poets are far from ordinary.


Literary Funny Poems


Funny Poems about Literary Life


The Poet’s New Year Resolutions

Next year I will be ever so good,
And do the things I know I should,
I won’t pick fights, sit in a heap,
Or lie upon the couch and sleep.

I’ll get up every day at eight
And go to bed before it’s late,
I’ll give up eating fatty food,
And live on oatmeal that is good.

I’ll polish my shoes and comb my hair,
Even though there isn’t any there,
Tidy my desk and Hoover my rug,
Drink my tea and wash my mug.

I’ll be polite and mind my manners,
Sort my tools and number my spanners,
I’ll give up cake and big choux buns,
I won’t call German tourists Huns.

I’ll willing get my swine flu jag
And swear allegiance to the flag,
I’ll drink weak tea and wash my cup,
And then, with luck, I will wake up.

Copyright © Max Scratchmann. All Rights Reserved

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