Shorter and Curlier?
I've called this final selection of uncategorisable short funny poems Shorter and Curlier. Heaven forefend that there are any further additions to this genre of micro-poetry - a bastard son of funny poems and jokes - as might have to resort to one of the alternative titles I considered - Pearls before Swine or Cheesy Crackers - for any new additions..
My Dog Must Be Musical
My dog must be musical
What rubbish I hear you groan
But he must be I tell you
As I saw him eating a trombone
A Carelessly Discarded Match
A carelessly discarded match
Can start a forest fire
Yet it takes a whole box
To light your bonfire
I Lost My Thesaurus Today
I lost my thesaurus today
It was after the exam
I can’t find the words to describe
How upset I am
This Morning’s Breakfast News
This morning’s Breakfast News
Live from Downing Street
On the rolling news that never stops
I have learned in the last few minutes
That the Prime Minister had toast
While Nick Clegg had coca pops
My Father Was Trying To Explain
My Father was trying to explain
About anaphylactic shock again
And wasn’t doing it very well.
I could have explained it in a nutshell!
I Hate The One Pence Pieces
I hate the one pence pieces
5p's and tuppences
I suppose you think it strange
But I simply don’t like change
I Watched A Riveting Documentary
I watched a riveting documentary
On television last night.
It was all about how ships were
Put together by a shipwright.
I Work At The Met Office
I work at the met office
And my name is Bob
I have to do the pollen count
God it’s a difficult job
Low Expectations
I find that in my life
Low expectations are advised
Because I am rarely disappointed
And often quite surprised
I Ran A Personal Best
I ran a personal best
In the 100 metres
And my new record is
Almost 80 metres
A People Person
It read, "I'm a people person"
On his bumper sticker
But it actually turned out
That he was a trafficker
