21st Century Nursery Rhymes 2

More parodies of traditional English nursery rhymes, including reworkings of This Little Piggy and four different versions of Jack and Jill.

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 11

This little piggy has an ASBO
This little piggy’s in prison,
This little piggy was a car thief
This little piggy’s on the run
And this little piggy went...
"!£&&*!!!$" the anti social little bastard

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 12

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To spend some time with each other
Jack failed to rise
Jill raised her eyes
Then went off to find his big brother

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 13

Christmas is coming, the Geese are getting fat
The bird is a little fatty but I don’t mind that
If you haven’t got a Goose then a Turkey will do
If you haven’t got a Turkey, I’m not dining with you

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 14

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
They took with them a bucket
Jack made a play
Jill said “no way”
So he said to himself “oh bother”

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 15

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some snogging.
But on the way
They met Ray
And spent the afternoon dogging

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 16

Jack asked Jill
Are you on the pill?
As I have no form of protection
Jill looked grim
Then said to him
Where he could stick his erection

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 17

A diller, a dollar, a 10 o'clock scholar,
What makes you arrive so late
It’s no good arriving at 10 o'clock
You’re Headmaster for goodness sake

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 18

There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Growing in the middle of her chest
With the sunlight on her
It looked like a comma
That punctuated her pert little breasts

(Little girl in this case refers to stature and not age, so stop composing a complaint already)

(Not really a nursery rhyme I know. So sorry to the fans of Longfellow)