21st Century Nursery Rhymes 3

A series of traditional Enlish nursery rhymes are revised for a contemporary audience. The current crop to be twisted and warped include Twinke, Twinkle Little Star and Tom, Tom, the Pipers Son.

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 21

Tom, Tom the pipers son
Stole a pig and away he ran,
The pig was ate and it tasted great
And so said everyone on Tom’s estate

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 22

Twinkle, twinkle little star,
How I wonder what you are?
Are you the star I saw before?
Or an earth destroying meteor

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 23

One, two, three, four, five.
Once I caught a fish alive,
But what we couldn’t see
The fish was full of Mercury

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 24

An apple a day
Keeps the doctor away
Isn’t really true
So the best thing to do
Is squirt some mace
Into their face

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 25

Goosey Goosey Gander where shall I wander,
Up hills, down dales with a bullet in the chamber
there I spied you plump and fat in my cross hairs
Then on the dinner table as we where saying prayer

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 26

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
We just couldn’t wait to have more fun
As we heated some more in a spoon

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 27

Itsy Bitsy spider climbing up the spout
Where all the chemical waste comes out
Now Itsy Bitsy spider isn’t quite the same
And can no longer get in the spout again