21st Century Nursery Rhymes 9

A man who is bored with nursery rhyme parodies is bored with life. Or perhaps just bored with nursery rhymes parodies.

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 86

There was a little guinea-pig,
Who, being little, was not big;
But from its head down to its feet
It was extremely good to eat

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 87

The lion and the unicorn
Were fighting for the crown
The lion beat the unicorn
All around the town
The vicious ambitious lion
Beat the poor unicorn so cute
But with one final effort
The unicorn killed the great hairy brute

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 88

Sing a song of sixpence a pocket full of rye,
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
When the pie was launched the tills began to sing,
It seems that McDonalds will fob you off with anything

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 89

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,
She had so many children she didn't know what to do!
Sadly this case is not an exception
If only her daughters had used contraception

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 90

The Sandman's coming
In his train of cars
Think! Tiredness kills
Stop at the next services

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 91

What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails
That's what little boys are made of!"

What are big boys made of?
Chips and ales, and chasing girls tails
That's what big boys are made of!"

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 92

Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John,
Went outside with no trousers on
Both shoes off and no pants on
Along came a policeman “You’re nicked son”

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 93

Seesaw Margery Daw 
Johnny shall have a new master
He shall earn but a penny a day
Because his employer is a bastard

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 94

Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town,
Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown,
Tapping at the window and crying through the lock,
Come on everyone and look at my - undergarments

21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 95

What are little girls made of?
"Sugar and spice and all things nice
That's what little girls are made of!"

What are big girls made of?
"Allure and entice and all kinds of vice
That's what big girls are made of!"

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