The Bawdy Ballad of Hester Haines
Hester Haines, the Dyke of Staines, fucked three girls one night,
Gemma Small and Tanya Ball, and Cynthia Stevenson-Wright.
She met them on the chip shop steps and said, How do, me dears,
I am the one they warned about, the sum of all their fears.
But Gemma Small and Tanya Ball, and Cynthia Stevenson-Wright,
Said Hester Haines, the Dyke of Staines, we will be yours tonight.
They went behind the gasworks wall and dropped their knickers down,
But Hester Haines, the Dyke of Staines, surveyed them with a frown.
This Brazilian Wax must get the axe, and landing strips are banned,
But since you’re here, please have no fear, you’ll have the night you planned.
Copyright © Max Scratchmann. All Rights Reserved
