Bestial Goings On

A humorous poem about about Billy-Joe and his bestial pleasures. It's light and funny and, as every self-respecting Welsh man will tell you, sheep don't count as a transgression.


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The Ballad of Billy-Joe and the Sheep

Oh, Billy-Joe went down to the barn,
Just stop me if you’ve heard this yarn,
Gave the eye to a big brown cow,
Gave it a good one, made quite a row.

Billy-Joe wandered through a flock of sheep,
Told the ewes his promise he’d keep,
Bought them flowers, had his way,
Then off he went, he didn’t stay.

Sheriff came a-looking for Billy-Joe today,
Said, son, you done it, you gotta pay,
Took him to jail and threw him in a cell,
Old judge sentenced him to seven years’ hell.

Billy-Joe did it with the prison guard,
Did it out in the exercise yard,
Warden and screws queued up for their turn,
Preacher said, Billy, you’re gonna burn.

But he served his time and went back to the sheep,
This time, folks, his promise he did keep,
And every time Billy went, Wham-bam,
He always remembered to say, Thank you Ma’am.

Copyright © Max Scratchmann. All Rights Reserved