Love Sick

A long, involved poem about a misunderstanding on a cruise ship which has hilarious consequences.

Paul Curtis

All At Sea

It was last summer when
Uncle John and Aunty May
Left Southampton
On a cruise ship holiday

I wouldn’t like it
It was like a holiday camp at sea
And just like Butlin's
There was entertainment daily

And after dinner
At the end of each day
Everyone met in the lounge
Where there were games to play

But one evening
Illness struck aunty May
So Uncle Joe
Went on his own to play

Each person had to give
A ten minute address that evening
On a subject
Of someone else’s choosing

When Joe’s turn came
Of all the subjects
That he could have had
He had to talk about sex

He was very nervous
But gave of his all
And at the end Applause
Reverberated round the hall

Feeling very pleased
Joe went back to his cabin
And found May still awake
Who wanted updating

“We had to give a little talk
It was a very nice evening
Ten minutes on a subject
Of someone else’s choosing”

“What was your speech about?”
May wanted to hear
He thought for a moment
And said “It was about sailing dear”

The next day on deck
To May’s surprise
The other passengers
Greeted her with excited cries

“Oh your husbands speech
Was just wonderful
He was very enthusiastic
And very knowledgeable”

“Well I am quite surprised
To here that of Joe
As he’s only done it twice
As far as I know”

“The first time he was sick”
She said with a scoff
“And the second time
His hat flew off”.