Private Parts

A young man joined the army
And he was known as Private Parts
But he was never meant for soldiering
The was clear right from the start

He was always finding trouble
It followed wherever he went
And he was often in the glasshouse
Or taking corporal punishment

He became a Major catastrophe
With every action that he took
General disorder was now the norm
They must throw at him the book

But he met a girl in the catering corps
Who was known as the officer’s mess
Everything changed from that day on
As he asked her to wed and she said yes

They married as soon as could be arranged
Saying I do between labour pains
Her bridesmaids were from the cookhouse
And his best man was Seaman Stains

A Sergeant is what he has now become
And finding soldiering really suits
And the couple still happily married
And they have four new recruits

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