A mortician was working late one night
His job was to check that all was right
He examine the dead bodies unhurried
Before they went to be cremated or buried
As he examined Mr. Schwartz’s body
The mortician made an amazing discovery
It was when he stripped the body to clean
He had the longest penis he’d ever seen!
"Sorry, Mr. Schwartz", said the mortician
"But I cannot send that off for cremation
It simply has to be saved for posterity."
And so he removed it with a little surgery
He stuffed the huge penis into his briefcase
And took it home to show his wife Grace
"I have something to show you my dear
Something that you won't believe I fear,"
And slowly he opened up his briefcase
“Oh god! Schwartz is dead!" screamed Grace
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