It's the half way point of the time nursery rhyme parody marathon, so now be a good time to grab a drink and pause for a 'Paula Radcliffe'.
The worms crawl in the worms crawl out,
They crawled in thin and crawl out stout
And when they’re so fat they cannot crawl
The birds come down and eat them all
I'm bringing home my baby bumble bee
Won’t my Mommy be so proud of me
But my baby bumble bee went and stung me
So I stomped on that bastard bumble bee
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
The people behind could see nothing at all
They asked him to move but he wouldn’t do that
So they pushed him off and he went splat
Little Jack Horner sat in a corner
Eating his Christmas pie
He stuck in his thumb
After scratching his bum
Then offered to share his pie.
One, two, three, four, five.
Once I caught a fish alive,
Now you don’t see that every day
Not on the Thames anyway
Little Tommy Tucker sings for his supper,
What shall we do for him? He’s a bit of a nutter
And he can’t sing a note every one knows
So we’ll audition him on one of Simons shows
The Grand old Duke of York he had ten thousand men
He marched them up to the top of the hill
And he marched them down again.
This upset the lads, who thought the Duke mad
So in order to stop him, they had to top him
Horsey, horsey don't you stop
Just let your feet go clippetty clop
Make the whip swish close up the ground
Win the race or your dog food bound
Hark, hark my dogs do bark
All day walking round the town
My plates of meat, my aching feet
I just want a nice sit down
Hark, hark the dogs do bark
The chavs are coming to town
Some with piercings and some with tats
And one in a designer gown
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