A Romantic Ideal

I could spend a long time apologising for the tone of Paul's dirty poems, or simply ask you to accept that in the quest for humour the odd sexist, misogynist or otherwise politically incorrect idea may creep in. The Perfect Woman is a classic of the genre, in that it's funny, base and brutally honest about womankind.


Rude and dirty poetry


Dirty poems


The Perfect Woman

The perfect woman
Doesn’t fart
Like a trumpet sounding
But rather it is released
Like she’s gently sighing

The perfect woman
Doesn’t belch
Out the word Bulawayo
But rather releases it
Behind her hand delicately

The perfect woman
Doesn’t sweat
Or anything like as vulgar
If they overheat
The darlings just perspire

The perfect woman
Doesn’t swear
Only shit and maybe bloody
If they stub their toe
Its sod it or even buggeration

The perfect woman
Doesn’t exist
They fart and blame the cat
They belch and blame the food
They sweat and blame the change
They swear and blame the man

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