Relatively Painful

A funny poem about that most animalistic of all creatures, the aunt.


Witty and wry poems


Funny animal poems



You mustn't be fooled by their features.
They look sweet, and kind, and gentle,
Some would say quite ornamental,
But they're really scary creatures.

'Come here and have a great big hug'
She squeezes me 'til I can't speak,
Then kisses me upon the cheek,
Saliva, lipstick, perfume ugh!

It's Christmas time I really fear.
It’s just the same year after year,
As I unwrap my worst nightmare,
A set of knitted underwear.

So this year I thought I'd treat her
To a gift which she could treasure
And would give me equal pleasure.
I've bought a Spiny Aunteater.

Copyright © Patrick Winstanley. All Rights Reserved

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