A Second Helping of Funny Christmas Poems

A further selection of funny Christmas poems by Paul Curtis. Covering topics are as varied as a feminist retelling of the nativity story, festive binge drinking and dealing sensitively with turkeycide, the feast of Christmas is dissected with an extremely blunt carving knife.

While Brokers Watched Their Stock By Night

A deliciously funny parody of While Shephers Watched which intertwines the Square Mile, the banking crisis and a vengeful angel.

Watch Out

Lecherous bosses are a perennial problem, but Christmas gives them extra opportunities to strike.

Northern Lights

'It's Health and Safety gone mad' has been a battle cry of the past decade, but it's amazing to discover just how far its probing tentacles have reached.

While Shepherds Watched - Safely

A parody of the Christmas carol While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night in which the intervention of the Health and Safety fascists brings everything to an abrupt conclusion.

I’m Dreaming Of A White Christmas #1

We're a world away from Irving Berlin original in this parody of the classic Christmas song..

I'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas #2

More messing with the lyrics leads to alcohol induced sensory deficit in a second parody the of popular Xmas classic I’m Dreaming Of A White Christmas.

Keeping Up With The Joneses

A funny poem about Christmas excess - spend in haste, repay into eternity.

Department Store Santa

A rather downbeat poem about taking a child to visit a Santa's grotto which is far from magical, which is more bitter-sweet than outright funny.

Fill My Cup With Cheer

A poem which could usefully be recited to guests who overstay their welcome. In persistent cases, the prescription is a recitation immediately upon their arrival, to be repeated every half hour until they finally get the message.

The Last Reindeer

You may already be familiar with a similar joke with an equine theme, but Paul's poetic retelling in festive form really is a cracker.


A mildly rude poem about the anatomical abnormalities of snowmen.