More Funny Christmas Poems

Yet more of Paul's funny Christmas poems. It would be quite understandable by this stage if you felt that you had overindulged and were feeling a little sick. Have another mince pie, a small glass of port and plough on the the end. Subjects covered in this Christmas selection include lecherous bosses, the Sons of Glendower and Health & Safety legislation, but all are accompanied by a suitably festive flourish.

A Simple Gift

Why do women suffer such disappointment when is comes to the Christmas gifts they receive from their partners? The simple answer may be that men are insensitive morons.

Are You Wearing Elfish Ears?

While most of Paul's Are you wearing… rightly belong in the sexy Christmas poems category, this elfish ears poem is gloriously bonkers and strangely politically incorrect.

My Worst Christmas Present Ever #1

The first of two poems about disappointing, or perhaps mischievously misleading, Christmas present.

My Worst Christmas Present Ever #2

And as the presents become more exotic, so the disappointments grows.

A Vegetarian Christmas

A the heart of every half-decent funny poem is a rip-roaring pun. I'll leave you to work out what lies at the heart of a half-indecent funny poem.

The Council Christmas Tree

If you think from the title that council inefficiency will lie at the heart of this poem, you'd be completely wrong.

Are You Wearing Reindeer Antlers?

Another of Paul's Are You Wearing… poems which is festive, funny and overflowing with the spirit of Christmas. Quite literally so in this case.

Everyone Is So Happy

The is quite simply nothing worse than a hangover, especially is you're the only one so afflicted.

I Wish You Good Luck

More anti-American sentiment in a poem about the vulgarians' attempts to subjugate Christmas into a non-denominational festival to be enjoyed by all.

My Wife Has Made It Clear To Me

Husbands beware. Choose the wrong Christmas present for you beloved and you risk spending Christmas in the doghouse, whereas you can buy your wife pretty much anything.

Are You Wearing It For A Reason?

A poem about a sufferer from the surprisingly common condition, SOD, better known as Seasonal Order Disorder.