Women's Ads

Some Ads in the Personals
Can be really quite deceptive
And the reader is more often
Required to be perceptive
When searching these ads
For some feminine company
Its hard to chose the perfect date
From a list of so many
For example if she claims
To be in a Reubenesque state
Doesn’t mean she’s an oil painting
Just simply overweight
Beware when she claims
To be an Open-minded person
Because open mindedness
Denotes a certain Desperation
Seeking “Friendship First”
Does not exclude any smut
Its just that she want’s to
Live down her reputation as a slut
If she is twee or of an
Old-fashioned disposition
Mean’s that she only does it
In the missionary position
Its possible she’ll mention
Her Contagious Smile maybe
But what this really means
Is she does a lot of Ecstasy
If she says that she is calm
And is emotionally secure
Means she is either a drunk
Or on Medication for sure
If she suggests that she
Has lived life in a sociable way
Means she’s been passed around
Like an hors d'oeuvres tray
If she says she’s Athletic inclined
And claims to be out going
Means she is flat chested
Loud and quite embarrassing
And if she says she’s forty-ish
And would like a romantic night
Means she’s in her fifties
And Looks better by candle light

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