Bestial Goings On

A poem with a central theme of bestiality is invariably dirty, but seldom funny. Paul's poem turns this poetic convention on its head, since Down Patch is really genuinely funny and only moderately dirty.


Rude and dirty poetry


Dirty poems


Down Patch

Bruno was a young slavering Boxer
And quite an ugly looking brute
While Ginger was a Yorkshire terrier
And so by definition rather cute
On this summer evening it was
The first time the two dogs had ever met
While waiting with their humans
In the waiting room of the local vet
It was friendly Ginger who was the first
To speak and too break the ice
“There’s something stuck up my bum
And you know that’s not very nice”
“I’m a yorkie and they call me Ginger
What does your human call you?”
“I’m a Boxer called Bruno very pleased
To meet you, how do you do”?
“I’m here for more tests because
I don’t think they know what’s wrong”
Said ginger with resignation
“Why are you here you look fit and strong”?
“Well” replied Bruno “you know how sultry
The weather’s been lately”
“I’m a young virile dog and to be honest
I’ve been feeling very fruity”
“I was patrolling the house last night
As normal when what do I find?”
“I found my human naked and bending over
So I jumped her from behind”
Ginger rather shocked said
“So she’s brought you here to get you snipped”
“Well that’s what I thought at first
But she just want’s my toe nails clipped”

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