No Oil Painting

A poem about Agnes the Ugly (Ag the Ug for short) , who was certainly not oil painting. She did, however, have one redeeming feature.


Witty and Wry Poems


Twisted Funny Poems


Ag The Ug

Agnes, poor girl was not very pretty
But to call her plain would be a pity
And unfair to plain girls far and wide
In short Agnes was on the ugly side
When she was delivered by the midwife
The father saw only a precious new life
But the nurse saw an ugly little scrap
As she held up the poor child to slap
She stopped and lay Agnes on the bed
And then slapped both parents instead
Many years later came her wedding day
Her looks had not improved in any way 
And when the ceremonial side was done
The bridegroom was kissed by everyone
Even the groom hesitated to kiss his bride
But frightful Agnes was not to be denied
So what was it the bridegroom saw in her
Perhaps it was her father the millionaire

Copyright © Paul Curtis. All Rights Reserved

first previous index next last