More Funny Sex Poems

A further selection of Paul Curtis' funny sex poems. There seems to be a preponderance of poems about sexual failings - premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction et al - which is surely nothing more than a sign of the author's fertile imagination.

A Stiff Drink

A poem about advances in the pharmaceutical treatment of erectile dysfunction.


More erectile dysfunction and more little blue pills to make things better. What did men talk before the invention of that 'wonder drug'.

Driving Rain

A twisted funny poem which paints a charming picture of a car journey on a stormy night, until the shocking revelation at the conclusion.

Early Arrival

PEA is the only self-help group which (a) is more mortifying to attend than Alcoholics Anonymous and (b) offers the prospect that self-help really may be in one's own hands. Just read it, I assure you it's both short and funny.

Feeling A Bit Ginger

A funny poem about a ginger haired prostitute which is suprisingly clean.

In The Cold Light Of Day

A poem offering sage advice to women with a roving eye and hope to ugly men everywhere. I'm sure the term ugly isn't politically correct, but you know who you are.

Knight’s Favour

What should have been an epic quest turned out to be something quite different for this errant knight.

Glory Of The Dawn

A poem about a physiological peculiarity of menfolk, sometimes euphamistically described as a morning glory.

Playing Dress Up

What could be better to spice up a relationship than a little costume related role playing game? What indeed!

Sexing Flies

How do you sex a fly? is the central question is this poem which is about sex, sexism and gender identity.


Swinging is seen as a form of sexual liberation, but some swingers are prepared to swing further than others.

Birthday Treat

In spite of the title Birthday Treat, this is much more a poem about sex than birthdays.

I Wanted To Donate Sperm

The poem's title leaves little to the reader's imagination.

I'll Take The Red One

Bimbette's visit to a sex shop leaves the owner somewhat perplexed.

Cockney Courting

A poem interspersed with cockney rhyming slang which is extraordinarily rude for those who understand the lingo and a little confusing for others. You'll get there if you persevere!