Even More Dirty Poems

Yet more dirty poems by contemporary English poet Paul Curtis. If you've read this far, you'll hardly need a reiteration of the warning that the poems are unsuitable for children or adults of an unusually sensitive disposition.

Repelling Boarders

Another joke in the form of a poem, in which an elderly flasher at an airport receives his comeuppance.

In Days Of Old

A medieval romp of a poem in which knights and fair maidens feature prominently.

Beach Etiquette

What the FKK! The etiquette of the nudist beach is exploded in a verbal jousting match as a nude male sunbather is challenged to display some manners (and something more besides) by a passing female.

Sir Lancelot A'Boils

An Arthurian epic in which the eponymous hero shags his way through his entourage, man woman and ...

Take A Closer Look

A funny poem about the rather seedy subject of voyeurism.

Toilet Training

Sage advice for men about the tricky subject of how to take a piss safely. It is genuinely useful info, rather than simply taking the piss.

The Commando Wife

Going commando is to dress fully, but sans underwear. It appears to be a fashion statement that is popular with both sexes.

The Call Of The Wild

A dirty poem about pubic hair styles, which isn't something you encounter every day.


Describing a dirty poem as being about bestiality, even just about sex and sheep, has a tendency to put some readers off. Don't be, as Sheepish is a very funny poem about some bedroom antics in which the sheep plays a minor, but pivotal part.

Defying Gravity #1

A couple of poems which contrast the medical intervention that can be used by women and men to delay or reverse the effect of growing old. The unfortunate consequences that might ensue suggest that aging bodies are best left well alone.

We Had A Trivia Quiz

A poem which mixes wild assumptions with racial stereotypes about trichology to great comic effect.

Transfusion Confusion

Wild word play leads to a contrived but none the less amusing denoument.

Mothers Pride

Four mothers boast about their son's importance in the wider world, but one mum is holding a winning hand!

Stand For The King

Royalty are not immune to the the curse of erective dysfunction, but a range of remedies are available if you're the king…


In Greek mythology, Pandora's box was the source of all that was evil in the world. Plus ca change…

It's The Dogs Once Again

Culinary disasters are one thing, but then an unappreciative husband rubs salt into the wounds.

When I Look

A series of voyeuristic fantasies is brought to an abrupt halt.

She Was A Siren

This may be a poetic protrayal of your perfect woman.

The Priapic Youth

The title, The Priapic Youth, probably tells you more than enough about the subject and tone of the poem to come. However, if you skipped Greek classes at school, knowing that Priapus was god of, amongst other things, male genitalia may help you decide whether this is a poem for you.

Scout About

We've travelled a long way from 'Scouting for Boys', Baden-Powell's seminal work which laid the foundations for the scout movement. Scout About is a dirty poem about boy scouts, which refreshingly doesn't rely for its comic effect on the activities of 'funny' scout masters.